


clipped wings

by cupsofstardust



Series: new and improved mystic messenger [3]
Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: :(, :D, Aggression, Angst, F/M, Not Canon Compliant, SO, Spoilers for Jumin's Route, and i have feelings about it, day 8 rewrite, here's an alt reaction, honestly felt jumin was being a bit of a "nice guy" in this scene hehe, i didn't like how aggressive jumin got with mc, i feel like mc wasn't upset enough when this happened so, i hope u enjoy this, that more clearly conveys what mc was probably feeling, this is how i would've reacted at least, this might be triggering pls tread w caution guys im rly sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-10
Updated: 2019-01-10
Packaged: 2019-09-28 00:45:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17172632
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cupsofstardust/pseuds/cupsofstardust
Summary: "Where are you going?"She's never been more afraid of him."I can't understand why you're rejecting me when I'm being so considerate."She wants him to move away."Can't you be logical right now?"He's the one being illogical."I want to protect you so bad."She can protect herself."Why do you only want to escape from me?"Someone help me.





	clipped wings

**Author's Note:**

> RFA let mc relax challenge failed :/

She leaves the chat room after a mildly stressful conversation with Seven and Zen. She knows Zen is worried about her - she'd be lying if she said the things he's worrying about haven't occurred to her. She's trying to be understanding, but she's been in this penthouse for days now. She finds herself homesick for an apartment that isn't even her home. And on top of everything, Elizabeth is missing. She doesn't think this situation can get any worse.

As she turns her phone off, the front door opens and Jumin comes in. She stands up from the couch to greet him. Before she can say anything, he starts talking. 

"I'm so sorry I came back so late," he starts, straining to keep his voice calm. "I had to publicize the missing ad for Elizabeth the 3rd. I ordered a bottle of wine and invited a chef. He says he'll be here late in the evening." He pauses for a moment, gazing around the penthouse before finally meeting her gaze. "I guess you were locked inside the house by yourself all day... I'm so sorry."

She clasps her hands together in front of her and shakes her head. "I'm sad that you didn't find Elizabeth yet..."

His eyebrows knit together. "It hurts to see you sad. I've sent out ads everywhere I can, and said I'll recompense, so it's only a matter of time until someone finds her." 

He sighs, folding his arms in front of him. She tilts her head, the corners of her mouth pulling down in a frown. This situation couldn't be more stressful for him, could it? Why does Elizabeth have to go missing when he's just starting to figure out how to interpret his feelings, when - as Jumin puts it - his threads are being unraveled? 

"Oh, right," he says, shaking her out of her musings. "I hung a new dress in your closet. I can't let you wear the same clothes two days in a row, now can I? If it's okay, will you go change?"

He looks so shy when he says it that she can't help but smile. It doesn't last long when she remembers what she has to do. "Thank you," she says, ever the gracious guest, "But shouldn't I be going home now?

The irony isn't lost on her, the fact that she's referring to a stranger's apartment as her home when a few days ago she was certain she didn't want to be there. Now, though, after spending so much time in Jumin's home, the simplicity of Rika's apartment - or _her_ apartment, she guesses - seems like a welcome reprieve. 

Jumin's eyes widen. "Go home...?" He blinks, then shakes his head. "I guess I didn't make myself clear just now."

She knows it's irrational and she knows Jumin would never hurt her, but she can't help the way her breath quickens. She's so used to that being a threat - her father saying with a face like stone, angrier than he'd ever been: _"I guess I didn't make myself clear, young lady."_

She doesn't want to, but her instincts tell her to put as much distance between herself and Jumin, even though he hasn't done anything. He hasn't made a single move against her but fight-or-flight is still taking root in her bones and right now, flight is winning by a landslide.

"I'm sorry," he says, "But I hope you stop thinking about going back home. I don't want to force you to stay here. It's only that things are too dangerous outside. Those women might kidnap you. And there's also the possibility that the hacker is after you."

She looks away from him, her eyes going to the floor-to-ceiling window. The hacker, that's right... She hadn't forgotten about it, but to be fair, she's had bigger fish to fry lately.

"I've finally found you, and I don't want you to disappear. So quit thinking about leaving. If you do, I..." He stops, making her look back to him with thinly veiled fear in her eyes. "I might just lose it."

She swallows, trying to calm herself, while Jumin continues.

"I'll take you home once things are settled, so please bare with me for the time being."

She nods, not trusting her voice. 

"First, I think it'll be more efficient to familiarize yourself with this house... and being with me. What do you think?" he asks, his gaze inquisitive. "If Rika's apartment was more comfortable, please tell me what the place looks like; I can decorate this house to look exactly the same. A picture would be helpful..." 

She starts to open her mouth to say that, no, she doesn't want him to redecorate for her sake, but Jumin plows on, almost as if he's talking at her rather than to her.

"If it's uncomfortable sleeping in my bed, then you can use the bedroom inside. Make yourself at home. You might feel more comfortable here if you decorate with items you like."

She wrings her hands in her shirt, trying to come up with an answer that's gentle but firm. She doesn't want to be mean to him; she knows how much he likes her.

"Still, I can't just start living here so suddenly, Jumin. I have to go to the apartment to prepare for the party..." she says, her gaze pleading when it finds his eyes.

He looks downcast, disappointed. "Oh... right. I suppose you _do_ need to be at Rika's apartment to prepare for the party... Then just... stay here for a day or two. I'll try to settle things until then."

She can hear the unspoken "please" at the end of his sentence. 

"If you want some fresh air, if you want to go outside, make sure to take me with you. But... it won't be necessary to go outside. You can get your hair done and shop for clothes all inside this building. Since we're talking about it, I realized the moment I saw you which hairstyle would look best on you... And a dress and shoes too..." 

As if in a trance, Jumin reaches towards her and gently runs a lock of her hair through his fingers. Then, catching himself, he backs away and continues. "I even want to give you private tea-brewing lessons. Everyone in my family loves to brew tea."

She hates to interrupt him when he looks so happy - that expression is happiness, right? - but she needs to know what's going on. This can't continue.

"What is our relationship?" she asks quietly, not looking at him.

He pauses, thinking about it. "If there's a need to define it, I'll let you know. Commonly used terms are 'lovers,' 'couple,' 'companion.' I... can't imagine a life without you right now. I wish you'd be as desperate as I am, but I suppose that's not the case. Is that true?"

She doesn't have to answer. She knows he knows already.

"I'm barely keeping myself from getting anxious over you."

She wants to retort, saying he's _already_ getting anxious over her, to the point where she feels suffocated, but he keeps talking.

"I wish I could put my name tag all over your body to say that you're mine..." He sighs, looking down at the floor. "I want to protect you from everything, but at the same time, I want to leave a mark on you so that everyone knows you're mine. You won't understand how I feel..."

She doesn't say anything. What does she say in this situation? Everything she comes up with is either awkward or confrontational, so she remains silent.

"I want to be the best man for you," he says, and she can see how earnest he is. His emotions, however subtle they are, shine through his eyes. "I'm trying my best not to get so possessive. I know that our relationship needs time; trust will be acquired with time, of which we have plenty. I am sure that eventually, your body and heart will become perfectly mine."

Maybe... maybe Zen was right to worry. What the hell is he talking about?

"I'm not... a replacement for Elizabeth, am I? That's not the relationship I want." She silently hopes he'll deny it, say that she's above his cat in this regard.

Instead, she hears a dejected, "Not the relationship you want...?" and her heart sinks into her shoes.

"It makes me very sad to hear you say that. Of course I know that you're a human, not a cat. But soon you'll realize that your biggest happiness is being beside me."

She clenches her jaw, then meets his eyes with a placating smile. "Thank you for being so considerate, but I can protect my own body."

What she expects will happen and what actually happens are polar opposites. She barely has time to think before Jumin is caging her against the wall, staring down at her sternly. His hand smacks the drywood and makes her jump; in fact, she's pretty sure she yelps as well. All her senses are in overdrive, her eyes darting over Jumin's shoulder to judge the distance between her and the door. She realizes with a sinking feeling that there's no way she can get around Jumin and to the door without him catching her.

Her eyes prick with the threat of tears at the realization that Zen was right, that this was a mistake, that _she shouldn't be here._ She wishes Zen would make good on his promise - threat? - to save her.

She can't hide the rapid rise and fall of her chest, and she's almost certain Jumin can hear her raging heartbeat. If he does, he doesn't acknowledge it.

"Where are you going?"

She's never been more afraid of him.

"I can't understand why you're rejecting me when I'm being so considerate."

She wants him to move away.

"Can't you be logical right now?"

He's the one being illogical.

"I want to protect you so bad."

She can protect herself.

"Why do you only want to escape from me?"

_Someone help me._

"Will you disappear like Elizabeth once you leave?"

_Please move away._

She doesn't realize she's said it aloud until Jumin blinks, seemingly snapping out of whatever trance he was in. She breathes a sigh of relief when he murmurs agreement and backs away from her.

She doesn't realize she's crying until a tear drips onto her hand.

She doesn't realize how fast her heart is beating until she can feel it pounding in her head.

She doesn't realize that she's backing away from Jumin until the backs of her knees hit the bed and she stumbles, falling onto it gracelessly.

She buries her face in her shaking hands and cries silently. The room is so quiet she could hear a pin drop. The only sounds are her occasional ragged breaths. Jumin has backed up to the living room, seemingly at a loss for what to say, what to do in this situation.

"I apologize... If I surprised you too much," he mumbles, sounding ashamed.

She doesn't say anything. She _can't_ say anything.

"It was wrong of me to do that... I want you to know that I'm sincerely sorry for my actions. I... understand if you want to leave now."

She shakes her head, finally getting some of her courage back. "N-No, I'll stay with you... until you feel more calm."

He doesn't look at her, probably still feeling immensely guilty. "I'm glad you understand. I apologize again for... blocking you."

She can hear his unspoken words. _'I'm sorry for threatening you, for scaring you, for making you cry.'_

"You won't be able to leave, but please know that I don't mean to lock you inside. Just... get comfortable about living here while things are resolved. I trust that you know my sincere intentions..."

He sounds composed, but she can detect the underlying guilt, how uncomfortable he is right now when confronted with a crying woman. She sits silently on the bed, until the harsh clicks of his shoes lead him out of the room and the door closes behind him.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [A New Dress](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18547129) by [LadySheik](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadySheik/pseuds/LadySheik)




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